Dog Milk Isn't Dirty

The credibility of Dog Milk hit an all time high recently. Ms Mills recently took on the cause and said that livestock created far more carbon emissions than transport, so we should go vegan - someone who eats no meat or dairy produce - or at least find something else to put in tea or coffee. At Speakers Corner in Hyde Park, central London, she said: "There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don't we try drinking rats' milk and dogs' milk?" Reported in the Telegraph

Rat's Cheese already seems readily available, but there is a real need for an innovative, and motivated person to do to a dog, what someone is obviously doing to a rat. The discerning reader should note that the campaign here at Dog Milk Isn't Dirty is still serious, and we still believe that Dog Milk could be a fantastic discovery, perhaps even the hidden dairy answer. And it seems that at long last - we are making some more headway. So as you eye your own pooch, wondering whether you can squeeze our a cupfull for your cereal or cup of tea can we direct you to our simple how to guide, and also encourage you to contact the RSPCA and ask them what sort of music they would recommend playing to ensure that it is a relaxing and bonding experience for you and your dog.

A recent anonymous visitor to Dog Milk Isn't Dirty commented, 'whoever you are - this blog is disgusting: please, honestly, PLEASE delete it. This is neither wholesome nor is it good. Please stop it.'

This gives helpful, but yet tangible insight into the stigma of the milk of the dog. And you can see that the challenge in front of Dog Milk Isn't Dirty is as much about freedom of expression, as well as suckling on the hidden dairy economy of middle England. A vote for Dog Milk has always been a vote for freedom.

Perhaps if 'humourless from Cyberspace' can't cope with Dog Milk, or the scientific evidence that shows that in fact Dog Milk is incredibly wholesome, relieves PMT and lasts longer than other kinds of milk, then perhaps he or she should be throwing stones at cartoonists somewhere else.

09/02/2006 Dar es Salaam - A Tanzanian mother became hysterical after she found her six month-old baby suckling dog's milk, say reports on Thursday.

The reports said the mother left her son on a mat while she went to hang clothes in the yard of her Dar es Salaam home. After she came back to find him suckling on the dog, she screamed and rushed to her brother's house to seek advice.

But, the brother managed to convince her dog's milk was harmless. He was quoted as saying: "Since that day the baby is doing well and hasn't had diarrhoea or any signs of illness."

Another relative, who witnessed the incident on Monday, was also unperturbed. The reports said: "The baby was satisfied, since his belly was full and his lips had traces of milk."

http://www.news24.com/News24/Africa/News/0,,2-11-1447_1878173,00.html

Prolactin is a single-chain protein hormone closely related to growth hormone. And what does that mean? It means that just by administering the correct dose of this chemical to your dog, you can cause it to produce milk for you to enjoy at your convenience...

Check out the effect that it has...

Dog Milk White Russian
- 1 1/2 oz Vodka
- 3/4 oz Kahlua
- 3/4 oz Dog Milk

No more passive resistance. The Dog Milk militant's are striking back. A milkman was injured after his dog "drove" his float away, dragging him with it. Okay, it was a year ago. Dog years are different.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/3423101.stm

"Not only do I resent having to pull this cart, but frankly I just don't think the whole 'Fresh Dog's Milk' thing is going to take off."

So to you, the people, proudly in favour of Dog Milk as extensive research (http://www.livejournal.com/users/podbo/36799.html) shows we say, 'Dog Milk is the future.' A future of bright new promise, goodness, nutrition and health. With Dog Milk in our tummies we can look forward to happy marriages, less PMT, greater domestic efficiency and longer life.



Readers, the 'industrialisation of the cow' has lead to a society that is bloated and overconfident. With a milk market that has sung its own praises one too many times. We are told that Cow's Milk is 'so good that the cows want it back.' Here at 'Dog Milk Isn't Dirty' we have a message for the party unfaithful, who despite seeing the clear advantages refuse to peel off their blinkers, 'moooove over and let the real heir, back on the throne before the underdog bites back.'

What is the plan? Any marketing expert will tell you that simply having a good product won't cut it in todays highly competative and lucrative milk marketplace. You need image. Image is everything. It is said that the make-up artist is now more important than the speechwriter. This is our main hurdle with Dog Milk because when it comes to image, Dog Milk isn't exactly the Fonz. But Fear not, there is a plan to change all this. I can now exclusively reveal to you that with the help of powerful friends and Virgin sponsorship, Dog's that are being milked or would like to be milked are now infiltrating 'cool' via Judo.

Once established as the new bourgeois of uber cool, these clever and amazing agents will raise a leg and mark their territory and the rivers and roads will run white with the 'Lait du Chien.'

http://dogjudo.co.uk/

(Red Dwarf - Series 2)

Holly: Nothing wrong with dog's milk: full of goodness; full of vitamins; full of marrow-bone jelly! Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog's milk.
Lister: Why's that?
Holly: No bugger will drink it!

1. Sit on the same side of the dog each time. This will help your dog feel more comfortable - dogs like routine.
2. Tie dogs legs together if this makes you feel more at ease. If your dog is an old hand at being milked, this probably won't be necessary.
3. Wash teat with warm water and clean cloth.
4. Place cup under teat.
5. Take a teat into the palm of your hand.
6. Squeeze teat at top with thumb and forefinger. Continue squeezing each finger around teat, forcing milk in a stream until all fingers are around teat.
7. Release teat.
8. Repeat until only a small amount of milk comes out and the udder is soft to the touch, or the dog bites you.

Tips
Start milking slowly at first, then pick up speed. When you are done, untie her. This simple way will help her know what to expect and how to react. Even the most difficult dog is able to change. Never punish your dog with pain. They remember forever and they will get even.

Thanks to Wombaroo Products you can even enjoy a nice cold glass of dog milk without having to give your family pet prolactin drugs.

http://www.lowchensaustralia.com/breeding/wombaroo.htm

Chemical Breakdown of Dog Milk compared to Cow, Goat, Human etc.

http://encarta.msn.com/media_461534262/Constituents_of_Milk.html

If you have a bad marriage or are ill, then all you need is some wisdom from the dog's teat...

Homoeopathic Dog's Milk for PMT
by Dr Angela Jones

Jane had always had premenstrual problems. As a teenager, she had been very tired and moody for a few days prior to her period; natural enough in an adolescent. However, after her two children were born in her early twenties, the situation began to deteriorate. When she first came to me in 1994, she was having seven to ten days of "hell".
Jane's symptoms were mostly of a psychological nature. She would begin to feel low and tired about ten days after her last period and these feelings would escalate such that, by the time her bleed was due, she would be really struggling to cope. She described it as feeling as if she just wanted to run away from everyone and everything. In tears, she related that she felt as if she did not care about her children and would push them away if they came to her. This worried her terribly, in case there would be lasting effects on the children from being rejected in this way.
Her relationship with her husband was becoming strained as a consequence both of her low mood and also of a complete disinterest in sex which had developed over the same time scale. This was particularly troublesome, as Jane could not take hormonal contraception due to having had a thrombosis in pregnancy. The very time when‚ she could perhaps have felt like sex coincided with mid cycle and ovulation, when her fear of conception was greatest. Thus, although Jane's husband was a good and understanding fellow, she felt sad and guilty that things were not better between them.
Unfortunately, the problems in her marriage were compounded by her emotional state when the premenstrual syndrome "kicked in". Whereas she was rejecting and dismissive towards the children, her attitude to her husband was more like rage. She would seethe and fume all day, on her bad days, and as soon as her husband came home, he would be greeted by a tirade of cursing and insults such that, of late, he was often going straight out again and not returning until after Jane was in bed.
Hearing Jane's story, I felt that her case would respond to Sepia, the homoeopathic medicine which is derived from the ink of the cuttlefish and which has tremendous power in the treatment of symptoms arising form hormonal imbalances, such as premenstrual syndrome. I prescribed a single dose at mid-cycle for three months. One often has to wait longer in these cyclical complaints in order to assess the action of a medicine. I was treating Jane in general practice and, as she did not return, I could only hope that the situation had improved.
It was over a year later when I saw Jane again. She had brought in one of her children with a viral infection, so I enquired as to how the Sepia had worked. Sadly, it had not helped at all and Jane had decided that homoeopathy was probably not for her, and battled on as well as she could. The premenstrual symptoms had become even worse in the intervening months and Jane looked very tense and drawn. I offered to spend some more time with her a few days later in order to retake the case and she agreed, somewhat wearily. She seemed to have given up hope of ever solving this problem.
It transpired that the main feature of Jane's problem had become her temper. She described her feelings during the premenstrual week as "pure rage". She had no patience whatsoever and as a result, her family avoided her company altogether on her bad days. She had also developed tremendously sore breasts. They were so tender that she had to splint them when walking and even a very firm bra did not give a great deal of ease. It was then that she gave me the vital clue which would lead us to the correct medicine.
"Its very strange", she said. "I don't get both breasts sore at the same time. It tends to be either one of the other."
Eureka! The medicine Lac caninum, which was originally derived from dog's milk, is another, slightly less well-known, medicine with a strong action on the female hormonal system. Its keynote is that the symptoms frequently alternate from right to left or vice versa. Thus a blocked nose, sore throat, sore joints or irritable bowel pain that alternated regularly from side to side will often respond to Lac caninum.
I soon was able to extract some confirmatory symptoms from Jane. She was troubled by forgetfulness which she had been frightened to mention because she was terrified that she may be developing dementia. She had become terrified of spiders and insects and also found that she could not lie on her left side because the feel of her heart beating made her anxious and she would get palpitations. All these symptoms can be covered by the medicine Lac caninum so I prescribed a similar course to before with one dose at mid-cycle for three months but with the instruction to take no further medicine once an improvement had set in.
This time Jane did return for follow up, after two months. She came to report that things had improved dramatically. Although not by any means perfect, her mood swings had decreased very significantly. Her breasts were now back to normal and she felt altogether much better. In fact, since that time I have seen Jane on several occasions over two years and she has had no recurrence of the severe symptoms of before.
This case was very instructive for me and I now keep Lac caninum in mind for the most aggressive of my PMS sufferers and have used it with success on several occasions. It is also a good example of how a single keynote can lead one to the medicine, as long as one knows what to listen out for!